“What’s for dinner?” This question has been plaguing parents for generations. It has fueled the growing “meal kit” industry, which generated over $17 million dollars of revenue in 2023 alone. Parents go to great lengths to feed their families. Yet when considering the overall health of our children, “what’s for dinner?” may not be as important as simply eating together as a family.
Modern families are becoming increasingly disconnected. Despite living under the same roof, increased technology use, busy schedules and decreased social support for families have led many families to feel disconnected from one another. This lack of connection has been linked to the growing number of children and teens struggling with anxiety, depression and hopelessness. Family meals provide repeated, structured opportunities for families to connect and socialize together.
Decades of research also indicates that regular family meal time supports children socially, emotionally, academically and physically. Some of those specific benefits include higher self-esteem, greater resiliency, lowered risk of engaging in risky behaviors, lowered chance of developing eating disorders, lowered rates of obesity, bigger vocabulary and higher academic performance. Children who engage in family meal time learn communication skills, table manners and good eating habits all while deepening their relationships with their caretakers and siblings. Few other shared activities generate the same multitude of benefits that families can gain from regular, shared meal times.
Sounds good… now what?
To maximize the benefits of family dinner, consider incorporating these tips:
- Keep the dinner table a screen-free zone: TV, tablets and cell phones provide distractions that inhibit family members from fully engaging in conversation together. Free your family from these distractions by taking a break from screens during dinner. Better yet, silence cell phones and other devices. Keep dinner time dedicated to family time.
- Find different ways to engage kids in conversation: Avoid asking “yes” or “no” questions. Vary the types of questions you ask your children. Allow them to interact with each other’s stories in encouraging and helpful ways. Be intentional about allowing each family member time to share the good and the bad of their days without judgment or correction. This is not just for kids. Parents can also share about their days. Kids gain insight into adulthood by hearing what their parents do while they are at school.
- Get kids involved in preparation and clean up: Find age appropriate ways to engage your children in making family dinners happen. They can help with meal ideas, food prep, setting the table, cleaning up the table, washing dishes, cleaning the kitchen. Involving your kids in the different aspects of family dinner helps them to feel ownership of the process and builds a sense of responsibility toward the other members of the family.
- Keep it fun: You can help your kids look forward to dinner by keeping dinnertime fun. Mix up conversation to help kids stay engaged. Share funny stories. Tell a new joke. Take time to laugh together.
- Set realistic goals for your family: Depending on your family’s schedule, sitting down for dinner each night may not be realistic. Find a rhythm that works best for your family. Be intentional about making time to have a meal together when it is possible. When it is not, consider splitting the dinner time into shifts. Have one parent sit with children who are available to eat at an earlier time and the other parent can share dinner with kids who need to eat later.
- Let kids know what to expect: If family dinners are new for your family or if you would like to change an aspect of how your family dinners are run, be sure to keep your kids informed. Kids like to know what to expect. Dinner can be a grounding experience for your kids. Knowing what time dinner will be, how long it will last and what their personal involvement will be helps kids set expectations for dinner.
Be patient with the process of family dinner. Sharing a meal with small children may feel like a futile experience. There will be some nights that family dinner feels disappointing. Trust the process. Each meal is an investment in the future relationship you will have with your children.
If you are struggling in your relationship with your children, your spouse or yourself, we are here to help! Give us a call or send an email at [email protected].
