When my kids were little, we listened to a cassette tape (!) in the car of upbeat children’s songs by Burl Ives. One of our favorites was The Donut Song. Part of the chorus was, “As you go through life make this your goal: Watch the donut, not the hole.”
What a great visual metaphor to encourage us to focus on what we have instead of what is missing. While The Donut Song is a cute ditty, its message conveys a powerful truth, the benefits of which are grounded in Scripture and proven in recent brain science.
While cognitively we may be aware that positive thinking has positive benefits, the Grinch inside of us wants to hold on to hurts, offenses, and painful events from the past. Science has shown that humans tend to remember negative experiences more often and more intensely than positive experiences.
Benefits of Positive Thinking
But research also shows that shifting our negative thinking to focus on thankfulness literally changes our brains. Positive thinking and gratefulness have wide-ranging benefits for our emotional, physical and mental health, according to research. When we engage in gratitude activities, like journaling and acts of kindness, the benefits include:
- Reduced feelings of anxiety and depression
- Reduced physical pain and more willingness to engage in positive movement
- Hypothalamic regulation which helps us get deeper and healthier sleep
- Reduced levels stress, which helps us and those around us.
Science is only catching up to this truth that exists throughout all of Scripture. From Genesis to Revelation, God implores us to focus on Him not on our circumstances around us and to praise Him in all circumstances.
Of course, this is so very difficult to do when we are facing a broken marriage, a terminal illness, wayward children, unmet expectations, the death of a loved one, and other losses. I am not saying to ignore the emotions that come with difficult circumstances. Even Jesus was deeply troubled and wept over his friend Lazarus’ death. It is necessary for us to face and grieve the losses, express our anger and sadness in healthy ways. Counseling can offer that safe space to walk through difficulties, however long it takes, and offer healthy coping skills. If you feel like counseling could help, contact us at the Counseling Center.
Scripture Shows Us How
While our lives can have difficult seasons, God calls us to have an overall mindset of praise and gratitude. A few examples include:
- “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
- “Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!” Psalm 95:2
- “Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Psalm 106:1
- “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6-7.
I know this is easier said than done. We all struggle with gratitude, most likely on a daily basis. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul exhorts us to shift our thinking by focusing on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent or worthy of praise. Recently, I did this and made a list of these adjectives about a loved one. It helped me change my perspective drastically and let go of anger and resentment I was holding on to.
Other gratitude exercises include:
- Journaling
- Keeping a gratitude jar
- Holding a gratitude rock
- Praying/meditating
- Walking in nature
- Noticing your five senses and being grateful for what you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste
When we focus on what we have and can do – rather than what’s wrong or missing – we can enjoy the abundant life God calls us into through Christ (John 10:10). Plus, the donut is so much tastier than the hole!
